Wednesday, March 31, 2010

Tales from the Mpls Skyways...

I could write whole entries on a weekly basis about the things I overhear or see in the skyways of downtown Minneapolis, and here's an example with what I heard a guy saying to another guy today about his wife or girlfriend:

"So, she tells me, 'but I'm not that technical,' and I'm thinking, 'essentially it's un-plugging a TV and re-plugging in in.'" But you know, man, they're women, and you know what they're like... they're... well, um.. er, well, they smell nice..."

I had to contain my laughter, I literally had to tuck my chin to my chest and purse my lips not to let out a huge laugh at this guy and let him know that although I was a good few feet ahead of him, I could hear his entire conversation.
I carpooled with a guy for awhile who said if he could, he would make a big coffee table book featuring the people of the skyways. He would make millions, MILLIONS. I see such a wide variety of characters, it's unbelievable.

There's the guy who always has his hand up this ear in deep conversation, but is that a blue tooth he's talking on?? Nope, Nope, he's talking to himself.

There's the man who walks down the skyways and will randomly burst into song, that guy makes me smile, and sometimes down right startles me.

There are the people who will pass you with a, "hi" in the morning, but give you a slurred, "F**k you, " in the afternoon.

I watched a kid off school for Christmas break puke all over his mom and the skyway carpet after experiencing Macy's walk through. Not more than five minutes later, I saw the real life Billy Bob Thorton version of "Bad Santa" walking around with his coat unbuttoned, and the fake beard pulled under his chin so you could clearly see his brunette five o'clock shadow. I wondered how many kids that were off school that day and roaming downtown were scarred forever by this site.

Surprisingly enough, I've only seen one person preaching the "word of Lord" and trying to "save" everyone who passed them.

Oh, folk of the skyway, you keep my day entertaining... keep it up.

3 comments:

Missy said...

That's hilarious. I work downtown as well and also get quite the enjoyment from those in the skyway. I'm surprised you've only seen one preacher - maybe that's more down on Nicollet Mall in the summer. I've gotten so many fliers to believe in Jesus and not abort a baby it's ridiculous!

Mary said...

Oh my!! I don't miss the skyways! They are like out of control highways!! Pass on the left people... ;)

Jen, a priorfatgirl said...

I sometimes wish I worked downtown so I could people watch in the skyways!