One Step Forward, Two Steps Back

 OK, let's cut to the chase, here's the stats from my weight in Friday morning:

+1.2 Pounds

Current Weight: 163.8 lb

Well, everything I lost the week before, I gained back. I cheated in a little, and didn't move as much thanks to craziness at work, so I know that's a bit of the issue. I was also having some milk production issues and I ate extra calories certain days, working that the lack of may have been what was affecting my production. I'm not really sure what it was, but I've also upped my water intake and started taking some supplements that are supposed to help. I won't get into specifics, but I've never had an issue with production, so I kind of freaked when my levels dropped early in the week, and providing Austin strictly breast milk for his liquid food source for at least the first six months of his life is my goal above anything else. 

That said, if I'm going to eat extra calories, they don't have to be bad ones, so need to remember that. 

I wouldn't feel right if I didn't tell you all about an amazing recipe for Chicken with Honey-Beer Sauce. I stumbled upon and made for Ben and I this weekend. Oh my goodness. It was amazing (minus the parsley, not a fan of that, didn't include it). I make a lot of recipes that I enjoy, that are easy, but this was just downright freaking good. I was literally licking the extra sauce off my plate with my finger after I was through with the chicken.  I didn't even remember to take a picture, and I remember thinking, "I really need to get a picture of this for the blog," but before I knew it, it was gone. 

I promise to snap some pictures of my meals this week, as I've become a super meal planner and meal freezer for easy weeknight meals. 

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Weight Loss Update

An update from my weigh in last Friday, just a few days late, due to, what else? Craziness! Here's where I stand weight wise:

-1.2 Pounds
Current Weight: 162.6 lb

I was so happy to see a loss this week, there were some days that were great and right on track, and others where I really used my weekly extra points to the max. I really need to stick to foods that are naturally gluten free, and not use gluten free substitute foods too much because of how high in carbs and calories they are. Sometimes these products save me, and sometimes they are my worst enemy. 

This past weekend we went to Raleigh to visit my husband's sister, her husband and their 20 month old daughter, and had a great time watching she and our little guy interact.

Cousin Love

Ben's sister used Weight Watchers while losing weight from her first pregnancy, hit her goal weight, and now looks fantastic with this second pregnancy. Being that she's been in my shoes, it was great to visit them and not completely derail my diet (or at all really). For dinner Saturday she made turkey burgers and sauteed broccoli, and we also went to the gym Saturday morning where she walked on the treadmill and I walk/ran for 25 minutes. It was a great time to get away and get my workout in while the dads hung out with the kids. 

For breakfast Sunday we walked to Panera and I finally tried out Panera's Hidden Menu that I had heard about through a Hungry Girl e-mail. Let me tell you, it's awesome! Easy on the points, easily gluten free, high in protein to keep you full, and tastes great. I had the Power Breakfast Egg White Bowl with Turkey (five points), and my Sister-in-law had the Power Breakfast Egg Bowl with Steak (six points). This menu makes me want to frequent Panera even more. I'd like to try the Power Mediterranean Chicken Salad next time I go for lunch.

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First Post Baby 5K!

This weekend I took on my first race since having my little guy. Running has been a challenge, but I'm signed up for a half-marathon at the end of April, and have been slowly, but surely trying to build up my distance, and I figured scheduling a 5K race would help with my motivation.

This morning was chily! In the 20's, but crept into the 30's during the race and quickly felt great as my friend Lynne and I took on the race.

Lynne made the 3.1 miles go by much faster as we chatted, and the last little bit of the race made me realize how much more I need to hill train as well.

I'm debating whether I should schedule a 10K race for the beginning of March to help with my training as well, but don't want to throw money around on race fees. If you have any 10K recommendations in the DC area, I'd love to hear them!

The race today was run on paved trails, so Ben and Austin (and Cooper) couldn't really spectate, but saw me off at the starting line, but retreated to the car after a bit because of the cold, and then ended up doing a few block car ride around the time I was finishing because Austin was fussing from being in his seat for so long.

This week, I've been on a quinoa kick for recipes that I've made ahead including Skinny Taste's Quinoa Salad (five points a serving) and Iowa Girl Eats Quinoa Quiche (made with half the cheese, two points).  Since the Quinoa salad had two of the main ingredients in my guacamole, I made that as well, and am going to be enjoying it on various items the next few days.

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Losing the Baby Weight, Here we go

Accountability is key, and how many people have tried to lose weight and want to hear how others do it?

So...here I go, blogging my journey to lose my baby weight. I've been doing Weight Watchers for ten days and commit to you, my readers that at least every Friday for the next 12 weeks, I'll log in, let you know how my week went, and where my weight is at.

Here are some quick stats:

Starting Pregnancy Weight: 145 lbs

Ending Pregnancy Weight: 195 lbs

 

Current Weight: 163.8 lbs

Goal Weight: 149 lbs

I've lost some weight already through giving birth, losing water weight, breastfeeding, watching my eating, A LOT of walking, and when I started exercising regularly again the end of December when I was cleared to do so.

The weight I was at when I got pregnant was after strict management through Weight Watchers and Half Marathon training, and even though I am doing both of those things again right now, I have to be a little less rigid due to breastfeeding and working full time and needing to keep my milk supply up, thus 149 seems like a realistic, happy weight for my working mom self. And, as much as I'll be looking at the number, my real goals are to feel good in my normal clothes, no matter what that number is.

The 140's have been a challenging number for me to get and stay into always, so that's why I'd feel even more victory if I see a 4, instead of a 5, pop up on the scale.

Each week, I'll let you know such things as: what recipes I've been using and loving, how workouts have been going, how tracking is going, whether I'm sleeping, etc. And, I'd love to hear your advice in my comments.

So, join me over the next three months as I work to get my weight down, my body toned, and mainly, back in my old jeans!


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A Birth Story: Part Two

When the nurse told me this the only thought it my head was, "HOLY CRAP!" My husband and I both looked at each other in surprise and I know there were some nervous laughs. For those of you who don't know, only about 10% of women's water breaks before they have contractions, so, needless to say, this was a rare night, and I knew Hurricane Sandy had set me into labor (and bring on the many, "if it's a girl, will you name her Sandy?" comments).

From here, we were admitted to our labor and delivery room, and there was a changing of the guard of the on call doctor. Luckily, the doctor who I had seen most recently in my last office visit earlier that week came on call and she knew my birth plan well. I wanted an epidural, no other pain medication, and I wanted to deliver vaginally at all costs unless my baby was in danger. I had a typed out birth plan in my chart and on display pinned up in my room.

It was closer to 9:00 a.m. and after we were settled in our room, Ben ran to the cafeteria to finally eat something and they gave me a bit of pitocin because my contractions had stalled out. Things got real, fast then. Contractions picked up, to the point of being one or two minutes apart. They were ripping apart my back, my belly and my upper thighs. It was like someone was punching my lower back, my stomach had a huge gas bubble AND menstrual cramps and someone was tightening my thighs with a rusty wrench. I was doing my yoga breathing through each contraction, and sometimes shouting out, and clenching Ben's hands, wrists or forearms while he stood by.

Ben was a great coach through this. He was supportive and comforting and only one time tried to show me something on ESPN to get my mind off the pain when I had to say, "I don't give a shit! Be quiet!" (For those who care, he was trying to show me who Samantha Steele was, the girlfriend, now wife of the Vikings Quarterback Christian Ponder, because the day before I had been asking who she was).

After what seemed like forever of this, I was begging for an epidural. But, remember all those other women who's water broke that morning as well? There was over demand for the anesthesiologist. I can't remember exactly how long I waited for an epidural, but it seemed like forever. When the doctor arrived I nearly cried in relief.

Before I describe getting my epidural, I must tell you that I am a huge wimp when it comes to needles. I hate them. I hate the sharp pain, and would rather endure a dull ache any day, but I knew the epidural was what I wanted. After moving so that I was seated on the edge of the bed, Ben took one of my arms, my nurse took the other, and the anesthesiologist got started. The doctor was quite the jokester, telling me about his own children, and since he saw that I was celiac on my chart, he talked to me about his gluten free diet as well, and recommended some products from Trader Joes even!

This all helped get my mind off things, but nothing distracted me from the pain of that needle when it went in, even with the numbing agent already on there. The pain of having the epidural needle placed in my spine was the worst pain I've ever felt in my life. I screamed, "mother f*cker!!!" as it was inserted in my back and then sobbed uncontrollably.

The anesthesiologist quickly barked, "you have to stop sobbing and moving your back like that, or it can screw this whole process up. I need you to stop now." This was alarming, but his words sobered me up quick, and I stiffened up, bit my lip and gripped Ben's arm even tighter.

Within the next 90 seconds, I felt it, relief. It was amazing, and I laid on my side feeling the most relaxed I'd been in hours. I remember saying, "oh wow, yeah, this was the right choice, totally worth it." It was like the relief you feel when you've puked your guts out, that had been killing you, and now you knew relief.

At that point, my OB doctor was finally able to come in and check me. She did and said I was close to four centimeters, but then said something concerning, "I feel a crease...not a head."

"OK...," I said back.

"I'd like to do an ultrasound and see where the baby is positioned it could have face planted down, or it could have gone breech," she said.

I watched as she did the ultrasound and saw the corners of her mouth turn downward, and asked "What?? What is it??"

She let out a sigh.

"It's breech, isn't it? The baby is breech."

I could tell by the look on her face I was right, she didn't even have to tell me, but she did.

She nodded and said, "Yes, the baby is breech," and gave me an empathetic look.

I screamed, "This means I need a c-section, doesn't it?? Doesn't it?!," and looked at her and Ben in terror.

"Yes, this does mean you need a c-section. I will not do a vaginal breech birth, it's too unsafe. We can try to turn the baby, but with the lack of fluid, there's a high chance the umbilical cord could wrap around the baby during that process."

Blinded with tears and anguish that I wouldn't get the birth I imagined I said, "No, nope, we're doing the c-section. Whatever is the safest way for me to have the baby, I want a healthy baby, that's ultimately what I came here for."

Having experienced at miscarriage before, and friends who had lost babies close to full term, I knew the ultimate end goal, and it made things so much more clear. I came here to have a healthy baby, that's what I want.

After saying that, I made everyone leave the room. I wanted to call my mom (who I hadn't even told I was in labor up to this point) and have a few moments with my husband.

The minute everyone left I blurted out, "What are we going to do?? This recovery will be awful, and it's just us."

Ben reassured me that he would be home with me for two weeks of his paternity leave, and that he would wait on me hand and foot (and he did!) to make sure I was able to rest.

I called my mom and she reminded me of what I already knew, that as long as I had a healthy baby everything would be okay. In her mother's intuition she said she had had a feeling she would be hearing from that day about having the baby.

After a bit (time all ran together, so maybe ten minutes?) my doctor returned, and the whirlwind began. She explained to me the surgery, the risks, and I signed a million legal waivers. I begged her to not let them strap my arms down so I could touch my baby when he was born, this was the biggest thing I feared about a C-section. She said she would do that if I promised not to move my hands, or grab her butt while she was working on me. Apparently that's a problem with people, something about them moving their hands off of the bars where they should be and where they land is usually her butt! (I did NOT end up grabbing her butt, by the way).

Next, my room filled up with people, my nurse was changing into scrubs, the anesthesiologist was back, and random other people were in my room.

Within five minutes I was being wheeled to surgery. just as someone was slipping a surgery cap over my hair they told me it was time to leave Ben so he could change and they could prep me, and I broke down. He was my support, and I couldn't imagine going in there without him, but I knew I had to, and he went to put on his scrubs, and I kept being wheeled away.

In perfect timing, my hilarious anesthesiologist said, "you know, 100% of women with a typed out birth plan end up with a C-section," with a wink. It was like he already knew how type A I was in the 90 minutes we'd known each other. I shook my head and said with a smile on my face, "F#ck you." And we both started laughing.

In the surgery room, things where a blur, the increased anesthesia was very cold in the line that ran under my back, I could feel it on my shoulders. I didn't even think about how vulnerable I was, completely naked from the waist down, with tons of people walking in and out of the room. I had heard modesty goes out the window in child birth, they were right.

Soon, Ben came in, and it all began. I kept saying to him, "I can't believe we're going to meet our baby soon."

My body felt like it was being beat up while the performed the surgery, rocked back and forth, and I kept feeling like someone was pulling my guts out, and, basically, they are. It made me gag when they started digging inside of me to get my uterus out, and the scrub nurse kept asking me about feeling nauseous. I kept saying, "I feel like you're gutting me like a deer," but east coast people don't get that reference like Midwest ones, they apparently don't come home to find gutted deer in their garages ever from a hunting adventure.

Anyway, because Austin was butt first, in the pike position, he had to be pulled out butt first. After a few minutes my doctor said, "OK, I can't see the head yet, but I can see the gender, do you want to know??"

The gender. The whole day I hadn't thought one bit about the baby being a boy or a girl, I just wanted that baby. A healthy, little person to take home. I hadn't wanted to find out beforehand, and had totally romanticized finding out at the birth. That there would be a big moment after that final big push, when the doctor would announce the gender, and I would scream in delight, but nope, that didn't happen, at that moment, I just wanted my baby, gender didn't matter.

It didn't take much time for me to decide, I had been waiting for ten months to know, what was one more minute?

"Yes, tell me!" I yelled without even consulting Ben (he wanted to know at the ultrasound, so I'm sure he didn't mind).

"It's a boy!!" She yelled out and 30 seconds later lifted my son above the sheet for me to see as he screamed with his mouth wide open. He. Was. Beautiful.

In my memory, I don't remember him being bloody, or full of junk like the pictures I saw later showed. I remember just staring at his face in amazement. I knew a baby was going to emerge from me, but it didn't seem real until I locked eyes with him. He was beautiful and wonderful, and the secret want I had for a girl disappeared, because the moment I looked at him, all I wanted was him.

As they cleaned him off, Ben took pictures, 7 lbs 9 oz, one ounce bigger than I was, and five days early, like his dad. He was already like both of us. He peed all over the exam table while scoring eights and nines of his apgar tests (I don't know who he gets the tendency to piss all over things from).

Father and Son

When the nurse brought him over to me, I kissed him and patted him, and never wanted to let him go. He was the most amazing thing I'd ever seen.

But, he did have to go to recovery with his dad. I cried again and kept saying his name over and over again, "I love you Austin, I'll see you soon Austin" and laid in shocked amazement as they stitched me up, I was a mother. I was someones mom. I loved him so much, and I'd only seen him for about three minutes of my whole 29 plus years on earth, but he was my favorite person I'd ever met.

When I finally saw him again was in the recovery room. Ben was holding Austin against his bare chest in the skin to skin contact I was so worried about him missing with a c-section birth. They were best friends already, and I was so happy for my husband to have a son. Ben had been calling family and friends, and was in such a haze, some were forgot, or texted instead.

I couldn't take my eyes off of Austin Harrison at that moment, and cuddled him against me for the next two hours or so, and I still can't take my eyes off of him. He changes everyday and is the most interesting person I've met, and he can't even talk or change his own pants.

Anyone who says parenthood doesn't change a person is crazy.  It makes you more compassionate, tests your strengths, opens your heart, and puts your priorities in order. Basically, it's the best feeling ever.

Austin Harrison

7lbs 9oz

19.75 inches

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A Birth Story: Part One

 I don't know where to exactly begin with Austin's birth story. To say it started the day he was born, wouldn't be accurate, so I'll start the day before...

Friday October 26, and I was feeling huge. I was tipping the scales at 50 pounds gained, and had started retaining water and getting puffy about three weeks earlier. I had actually enjoyed most of pregnancy. Despite when my sciatic nerve bothered me for a two weeks in late July, and my eight weeks of morning sickness in the first trimester. But, the last few weeks of pregnancy were starting to wear on me. The comments from people everywhere on my size, the feeling that my baby's head could literally drop out at any second (my OB assured me despite all that pressure, it wouldn't), and the fact that so few of my clothes, and even my shoes, fit at this point. Oh, and did I mention a hurricane was on it's way? Projected to his landfall in a few days, the weather was set to take a big change on the day my life would inevitably change forever, October 27.

I was a lucky one, due November 1, I was already having contractions randomly, and had been told on Wednesday October 24 that I was 1.5 centimeters dilated and over 50% effaced. I was making progress, and the baby would be here soon, hopefully.

Friday rolled around at work, and I did my best to help encourage baby's progress. I went for a walk at lunch time, ate some spicy food, and tried to focus on anything BUT going into labor. I hadn't had one contraction all day, and was frustrated and decided that weekend, I would focus on spending time with my husband and not obsess over having our baby.

That night, I went to the prenatal yoga class I often attended throughout my pregnancy and I felt much more relaxed than I had in a long time. Then, came home and put up lights for Halloween on our deck and lounged around watching movies with Ben until 12:30.

At this point in pregnancy, I was getting up to pee about two to three times a night with how big I was. So, I got up at 2:00 for the first time and went right back to bed. Then, woke up a little after 4:00 a.m. and felt a warm feeling between my legs I've never felt before. It was like a warm balloon, about to snap, and I immediately knew it, my water was about to break. Knowing that it was about to burst, I thought quickly, "how can I get out of bed and not ruin our mattress, and mattress pad?" So, I shifted my outside leg as fast as I could and quickly took a huge step out of bed, and boom, my water broke, it hit the side of the fitted sheet, but the rest landed on our bedroom floor. I stood frozen in the dark for what seemed like an eternity at the time with amniotic fluid running down my legs, in complete shock. Then, I said, "Ben, my water broke," and he calmly turned on the lamp by his side of the bed, said OK, and asked what I wanted to do.

I knew I was strep B positive from previous testing, and since my water broke, I had to get in to the hospital in a decent amount of time, but I also hadn't had any contractions yet, so I knew I had time.

We decided to shower, eat something and get going, we didn't rush, and I got ready, while having to fill the bathroom floor with towels as fluid kept rolling out of me.  And, on the totally gross side, my dog was following me around, right on my tail and kept trying to lick up the fluid. Poor Cooper, I wanted to be near him before I knew I'd have a few days away from him, but I kept having to shoo him away.

At this point, the calm my husband had when he woke up was fading some, he wanted to get to the hospital, and I kept being like, nahhhh, we have time.

I finally sent him to a nearby drug store for Gatorade to fuel up before what a marathon labor I assumed was ahead and huge pads so I wouldn't get fluid all over my husband's new car on the way to the hospital.  Yes, for the first time in our relationship, I had to have my husband pick up female items. And thankfully, he was awesome about it.

At 5:30 we called our friend Glen who had told us he would watch Cooper when I went into the hospital. Glen was great about taking Cooper, even thought it was ungodly early on a Saturday. He said to call him when we were close to his house, and he's step outside and grab Cooper out of the car.  Before we left the house, I took the picture below of our last family picture before Cooper's whole life changed.

This was the first time I lost it in tears that day. I apologized and petted Cooper the whole way to Glen's house. I kept saying, "I'm sorry Cooper, your life will never be the same, but we still love you so much. I'm sorry, I know you didn't ask for what is about to happen to your life." Meanwhile, Cooper was just ecstatic to be on a sudden, middle of the night car ride.

After dropping off Cooper, we filled up the car with gas, and while Ben was filling up the car, that's when my contractions started. I decided to then call my doctor, and spoke to the one on call who told me he'd see me at the hospital, as he was on his way in for a delivery anyway.

Ben dropped me off at the door of the hospital, I checked in, went to the maternity triage, and the fun really began. My contractions were picking up intensity and coming every five minutes or so. I was checked by my doctor and told I was about 2-3 centimeters, and all looked good, so I'd be admitted shortly.

Then the nurse in triage asked me something funny, "So, what time did your water break, 3:45?"

"Um, no, a little after 4:00, why?"

"Well," she said, "the barometric pressure fell at 3:34 this morning and we've had an onslaught of women come in with broken waters since then, you're about the eighth one."


To Be Continued...


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Nursery Tour

As promised, here's a look at our now complete nursery!

Let's start with an overall look at the whole room. Pretty typical, right? Crib, bouncy chair, dresser/changing table and glider with ottoman.  We decided to do an Owl and Birds theme with Yellow and Gray colors, and pops of light blue.

Getting more specific, above is our crib. We got it from Target after seeing great ratings for it on Consumer Reports. It's the Graco Charleston Classic Convertible Crib. It's also stocked with bedding from the Land of Nod, Not a Peep Collection. I loved that bedding the minute I saw it, and it inspired the whole room.  I'm so grateful for my friends Joleen and Wendy who gave us the crib sheets, and Ben's co-worker and my friend Angie who gave us the crib skirt (and also hosted an amazing shower that she posted about on her blog here).

 

We ended up getting the Swirl Branch Wall Decal that I blogged about previously from Janey Mac on Etsy and I absolutely love it! Ben did a great job putting it up above the crib, and he put one of the little birds above the closet as well.

The dresser I previously wrote about was actually sold out when we went to Ikea, and there was NO way I was going back to that place (it was a mad house to get there in traffic, and then only being able to go there on a Saturday, the store was nuts as well), so we got this Birkeland six drawer dresser instead, and I actually like it a lot better.

The lamp on the dresser is one we had around the house from Pottery Barn and used to use in the living room, and the changing pad cover is also from Land of Nod's Not a Peep collection.

My friend Christina gave us this Sleep Sheep, noise machine/stuffed animal from Pottery Barn Kids, saying her daughter loves it. I love the items we've been receiving from experienced parents. The sheep will go great with the Dr. Karp, Happiest Baby on the Block sleep philosophy we're going to try and follow.

For easy access to diapers, wipes, etc and for storage all over the room, we have these Gingham Storage Bins from Land of Nod for toys, books and many other things.

Inside the drawers, my organization freak comes out. These drawer organizers were right by the dressers at Ikea, talk about great marketing! I have things organized by size, long sleeve/short sleeve, hats, bibs, socks. etc. I know it won't stay perfect once the baby arrives, but it will help things. People told us (some of them quite rudely!) that no one would gift us clothes because of not knowing our baby's gender ahead of time; how false was that. We have been really lucky and are totally stocked on 0-3 month clothes and many 3-6 month clothes as well.

This was one item I insisted on, a nice glider, and specifically this one from Pottery Barn Kids. It's technically my "push gift" because I told Ben I would use it more than any piece of jewelery or gift he would get me, and we shouldn't waste money on something superficial (although, a little gift when I come home from the hospital would be nice. ;)

The pillow I received in a gift from my friends Molly, Jenna, Sarah and Nina, and I think it will be great to have around for feedings, and because it's beautiful and matches the room perfectly.

We also have these very cute Raggedy Ann and Andy dolls that Ben's grandmother made for him when his mom was expecting. They are SO cute, and I'm glad that our baby can now have them as well. (And there's that bird I mentioned earlier!)

I hope you liked the little nursery tour. Now that all is settled we just sit... and wait...for baby!

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